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Living in a seacoast town, I frequently look out at the ever-changing, immense, and powerful ocean and am reminded of my own physical insignificance. Looking overhead at what seems to be an endless sky, but is only an infinitesimal part of the incomprehensible universe, transports me. The forms I paint are often derived from my responses to water, clouds, and constellations. But I do not recreate or illustrate these places. Instead, I paint the unseen. Using semi-transparent paint in amorphous layers of color I invite the eye to travel around and through the paint, to encourage contemplation and provoke inner questions. I create abstract and sometimes unsettling kinds of depth and space, spurring sensations of weightlessness, waking dreams, unknowable spaces, and mysteries of the Cosmos. I paint hazy half-remembered feelings of being startled awake, sometimes recalling terror and horror of tumbling down into a deep unknown abyss—like Alice through the looking glass. Other paintings recall opening my eyes while still feeling the vague euphoria of flying freely above the world.
There is an ebb and flow in my process. I begin by rapidly applying subtle color variations of paint, responding to the paint itself more than rigidly adhering to my preconceived plan. I pour translucent washes, smear thicker layers of viscose paint, scrape lines into the surface, and dab and poke at the surface with rags. When I finally pause, I realize my hands are covered with colors, my palette is a mess, rags and paper towels litter the surfaces where opened tubes and jars of paint are scattered in chaos. This is when I need to sit with the work. To be with it, live with it, to listen to what it is saying. Often, my anxiety from staring at the canvas brings on dreaded feelings of apprehension and suspense of “what now?” These moments alternate with exhilarating feelings of anticipation of something wonderful yet to come. Such intense contradictory feelings are the very hallmarks of the sublime. And so, I often experience my subject while painting it. The process of alternating furiously painting and quietly “listening” continues until the work feels done. Or at least until I feel I can let go of the work. Often, I wonder if a work is ever truly complete. Heather Stivison
Visit her site for more about Heather and her work: HeatherStivisonArt.com
Heather’s CV can be viewed HERE
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